Being a good person

 Most people think they know exactly what being a good person is, but as so many do not follow this, it often turns out even when they carry out some diabolical acts they think they are doing it for good reasons. Good intentions, when not backed up by knowledge, can cause as much pain as carrying out the same acts whatever the intentions are. Your victim doesn't know about your intentions so what difference does it make in practice?

Therefore we all need some foundations. I have been reading a great deal about this, and if you want a life review, to judge yourself during life or a near death experience, these are the worst areas which have come out time after time to show you what are the areas which really matter and to avoid them wherever possible.

Hurting people and animals is top of the list. Is this obvious? You tell me. I will list some examples, some read elsewhere. Ignoring children and animals who care about you as you are too busy to greet them when you come home can cause a deep sense of abandonment and loss of trust. To you it may just be you didn't even notice them, or if you did you didn't have time to say hello or make a fuss of them. They are your dependents, meaning they depend on you. Learn basic rules and try and stick to them. Even when you get it wrong at times as we all do, at least you know you have and can make it up to them. Also forcing children to do things they don't like 'for their own benefit' can create untold fear, and often it's better not to make them go in the car or brush their tangled hair which hurts them if they make a fuss about it. A child makes a fuss for a reason and it is important you take notice.

Revenge is also one of the worst and most unnecessary things you can do. If you lose something making the perpetrator lose something won't get it back and won't make your life any better. It is so easy to want the person who hurt you hurt as well but you're going down to their level and spreading the illness and hatred, especially if they get you back again as a result.

I have even learnt this even goes to the satisfaction of going out of your way to prove someone wrong. This is the ego, and unless it's part of important business then it's not necessary. If it's just for your ego and their wrongness doesn't affect the situation either way just don't do it. You don't earn any points for proving it and puts the other person off you in many cases.

Doing the right thing, as my grandma said, means if someone does something wrong don't drop your own standards, like missing your birthday or not calling you. This applies the most to relatives as we can swap friends around if they keep letting you down, but relatives are a level above this and could be the only people around when you need someone. Tit for tat is the brother of revenge, if it's their birthday then call them or send them a card, also if you don't you can guarantee whatever they may have done first they'll probably remember and hold it against you. If you don't do or say something bad, especially to make someone feel bad in return for them making you feel bad then no one can ever hold it against you. Returning it just makes things twice as bad as they were.

I hope these basics have shown you a foundation, it's not at all complicate, they just may be some things we've otherwise missed, and with a little handbook can simply avoid doing the acts described, and follow the caring path and show everyone you love them actively in ways they know it. It all comes back to you in both ways.